Okay, so we all know the drill…Brides can be a bit of a nightmare sometimes and although we all know it’s your special day, that doesn’t give you the license to be a brat! At the end of the day, your Bridesmaid’s are supposed to be your closest friends, your leading ladies, so their happiness should be just as important as yours on the day!.. So on that note here are a few tips to keep your besties smiling and supportive!
1. Remember that they have a life too
We all know it’s stressful planning a wedding, and yes sometimes it becomes more consuming than your day job.. But that’s because it’s YOUR wedding day. It isn’t the be all and end all for your bridesmaids! Of course, they want to be involved and supportive but you have to remember that they have other priorities and responsibilities outside of your wedding. Be mindful of the fact that they too have lives and try and plan your wedding activities to fit their schedules- they’ll be much more inclined to rearrange things for you if they feel you’ve taken into consideration that they have a life too!
2. Give them a say in what they wear
Of course you’re going to have colour schemes and ideas of what you want, so it’s unlikely that you’ll give total free reign to your bridesmaids to chose any dress… But that doesn’t mean that you can go all bridezilla on them and start forcing them into a nude backless number regardless of their shape and size! Remember that your bridesmaids are going to all have different body shapes and sizes. So what might look amazing on your tall and skinny Jenny, might not look so attractive on shorter, curvy Jane. If you’re asking your bridesmaids to pay for their dresses, make sure you pick out something that they feel comfortable in and most importantly that they can wear again!
3. Keep the costs down
One thing that can totally ruin a bridesmaid’s experience of your wedding, is having to go broke for it! As much as everybody wants to look and feel pretty for your day, they don’t want to have to spend their life savings on a dress they’re not likely to wear again any time soon. There are quite a lot of costs involved in being bridesmaids, what with showers, dresses, hen parties, presents…. The list is endless. So try not to put too much pressure on you financially and balance costs where you can. If you can afford to help out with the costs then even paying for half the dress or for their shoes is a lot better than making your bridesmaids foot the bill for everything!
It’s natural to want to be in control of your wedding and to be organised but there is a limit! Don’t be a control freak! You’ve asked your bridesmaids for a reason, so don’t try and take over all their duties or cut them out of the organising! You may think you can handle everything yourself, but get them involved! Need help with making DIY wedding favours or invites? Ask your bridesmaids to come over and make a girly night out of decorating mason jars and cutting burlap! Let your bridesmaids organise things too. The Hen Party and Bridal Shower is their thing so don’t take over and plan it yourself and then ask them to pay for it (bridezilla much?). It’s a special thing being a bridesmaid, so make sure you make them feel special by including and consulting with them about your plans. On the other hand, don’t get too bossy or expect too much… bear in mind that some bridesmaids won’t be able to contribute as much as others.!
5. Don’t dull their shine!
Too often you’ll hear brides saying “I want you all to look plain” or “That dress is too nice for a bridesmaids’ dress”. – Not cool ladies! Don’t worry about your bridesmaid’s upstaging you. It’s not possible! No matter how pretty your bridesmaid’s are, it’s YOUR day! You’re the one in the stunning white dress, who everyone is looking at. So don’t feel the need to try and make your bridesmaid’s look less attractive than you, they will notice trust me! Focus on making all of you feel confident and beautiful… They’re you’re friends after all, you should want them to look the best they can…Plus jealousy is not a shade that is attractive on anyone!
6. Be Gracious
The road to wedded bliss is always a bit bumpy, so be prepared for little spats and falling outs! If Jenny and Sarah have teamed up to boycott some wedding activity, try not to explode! The main thing is that you keep calm and treat your bridesmaids as what they are… close friends or family! When bridesmaids make a special effort, make sure you acknowledge it, don’t just demand their time and attention. When a bridesmaid is being selfish or unreasonable, try and resist the urge to cut them out of the wedding altogether! Remember that when the wedding day is over and you’ve settled into married life, you don’t want to look around and be friendless!
7. Say Thank you
It may seem obvious but it’s really important to thank your bridesmaids properly. They’ve spent a lot of time and money to support you, so make sure you don’t give them a cursory “thanks” as they leave the venue. Giving your bridesmaids a thank you gift is not only nice but it’s actually custom now, so make sure you show your bridesmaids you really do value them!
8. Be a friend
Again this seems like another obvious one but it can be so easy to be caught up in your wedding day that you can forget about maintaining your friendships. Try not to always let it be about you! Of course, your bridesmaids will want to talk “wedding” with you but sometimes they may just want to have a girls night without your florist coming up. If you feel like your picture of what’s going on in your bridesmaid’s lives is a bit fuzzy, then you might want to take some time out to talk to them. No bridesmaid wants to run around after a bride who doesn’t even know that she’s just changed jobs or broken up with her boyfriend! Your bridesmaids are your closest friends and family, so don’t let the wedding make you drift apart.
9. Be Happy
This one is simple. If you want happy bridesmaids, then be a happy bride! Smiling is contagious- fact! Don’t be a miserable, stressy bride and keep it fun and happy and your bridesmaids will follow suit!